Laying on the back porch in the townhouse across the overpass. Pain poring down. I would just walk everywhere in the rain with headphones on. It was the only think to keep me sane. In computer engineering class we built switches out of old breadboards and logic gates. I ate Jalapeno Chips and talked about World of Warcraft for about 80% of the time. I studied rarely, but managed to round out a solid 60-70% on most things. School just didn't seem real. None of it had for awhile. It was like drifting along on autopilot waiting for something interesting to happen, but my heartstrings knotted up in harness of mental slavery made the feelings for most things less than idea. They watchers hovered around like flies for the most part, but themselves weren't very annoying as long as they left me alone. Brent Lockwood was always trying to get under my skin, but I stopped giving a fuck long ago. Nowadays I just played WoW to pass the time. In the game world, I could block out all the negativity and focus on play. I still wanted a woman the whole time. I stared a lot, and didn't really know what I felt other than confusion and tension. My body and mind were not healthy, and a lot of healing and change were needed to get things back on track, which wouldn't become apparent for at least another decade or so. Right now I'm swarmed and flooded in O's, entertaining their dead-end beliefs for what seemed like a century. I could escape them mentally pretty easily, just by throwing on some headphones and wandering around in the dark, the rain, the sun, or the snow. I walked to alex's house a lot to hang out and build warhammer, listen to rammstien, and build computers. Sometimes I didn't even feel like hanging out, but wanted to escape the bald bastard Brent and go for a long walk through all the twisting paths leading from Kanata to Katimavik. I often spent my weekends in escape. There seemed to be something hidden and painful in life, but I was happy nonetheless. I liked physics class and computer engineering. History was also my favourite. There were a few people I felt I could trust, who weren't fake. Alex was one of them. Roman and Rex were others. I didn't make many friends with women, except for the teachers. Ms Cianci. Another teacher who had a profound impact on me later on was Ms Bryans. I will never forget those long treks to class in the morning. I would cut across the golf course and hike through a plot of wild land along the way. It was like a tangled old forest in the middle of suburbia, the place to breath fresh air and feel part of nature for a change.