Go away.

The best feeling in the world was to know that someone out there was listening. And not just anyone, someone outside of the mess I was living in. It felt like I'd never heard a more honest voice in my life. All the fake people I'd been surrounded by... and am still surrounded by. It has a numbing effect. It is hard to open up because I'm used to dealing with blind intolerance towards nature. But all that aside, true voices are out there and it took awhile to find them. When I was in the hospital, I began to do some soul searching. It was the first time in my life I had enough free time to really think, free from all the lies and distractions. In the years that followed, I found my true voice, and there's evidence of that. And yet they still try to stifle my true voice in dissonance, desperately clinging to a false reality. I don't care. They are sad, needy people who act like spoiled children, and it doesn't make a difference one way or another how they think I should be, because they have no control over me or my actions.

Now comes the challenge of getting free from here. I know I need to move, because staying here is like being trapped in a sterile, static environment. It actually feels psychologically harmful to be around the negative energies of pretenders and their drone bees. They've very cleverly put me in a situation of isolation, making it more difficult to get moving, but I will find a way out of this mess, even if they cling and drag at me every step of the way. In the end, they will always fall short, and find some other reason to blame the world for their problems. Of course they will take full advantage of the economic situation to avoid facing any difficult realities, which will in the end only be recognized as a cowardly stall tactic. In the meantime I will continue to get in as strong as possible and read as many books as I can get my hands on. They can be very disruptive in my daily life, and make every effort to invade my privacy (with few grace periods) so I've resorted to staying up late and sleeping in a bit in the afternoon. At least that way, I can get some time to reflect and work free from the interruptions of the inane.

I can't explain how grateful I am to the ones who showed me truth, and acted as a kind of beacon for the warm comfort of reality and progress that I only rarely felt here. It's like I got that deep European feeling of nature. I don't know how to explain it. It feels like a song in my head that always makes me feel fine no matter what, and in truth it's what holds me together.